Your Friend, the Internet

Have you ever wondered what the internet would be like as an actual person? He’d probably be a guy then again he could be a girl. That would explain all the online shopping sites….Hmm. For the sake of this conversation the internet is a guy ok? (Feminazis please don’t kill me) 

He’d have all the answers like the cocky man he is. He’d be a willing messenger boy for everyone. He’s on everyone’s side, that is if you can afford him . Willing to give  everyone  a chance, then again he also has no loyalty, singing your praises one moment, insulting you the next. Often saying things that aren’t true, he seems to believe anything that is said to him.

The internet would be a gossip. Spilling news and announcing people’s dirty secrets for the world to see even if we really wish he wouldn’t.
He’d also be absolutely pretentious assuming he knows what you really mean even if he is completely off. When you try to correct him he refuses to see your point. (Unless you’re talking to professor Wikipedia but that’s another topic)

He is never there when you need him, but extremely distracting when he’s there. Making announcements, recommending things to divert you from your original goal, he can be the most distracting thing you’ll ever meet.

The internet can be an absolute rascal, but a rather useful one. A wellspring of information, he shares the most amazing things from articles to videos and so much more. It’s easy to spend hours devoted to him, especially when you need help in your assignments.    

You can’t help it if you want that connection. Whether you’re at home or outside you are always looking for him, almost as if his presence suddenly makes a place better.  You chase after him, but at the same time hope he doesn’t slow down. The internet truly is a special kind of friend, there is no one like him. But please don’t make him into anything more than that

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